Just An Unsuccessful Attempt to Look for Answers

I sit here and wonder what type of beings we are? What kind of godly alchemy mixed the original atoms, coming like a cloud from all over the universe to give birth to this awkward animal that we are? What mishap appeared in the evolution process that led to the creation of this physically weak animal that took over the world? What kind of combination was taken from the periodic table of elements, brought to a boil and distilled into this invisible and unpredictable soul of ours?

Who are we humans? Are we the most powerful beings on this planet, able to play master and servant, god and worshiper, saint and devil, virgin and whore, all at the same time? How to explain the extraordinary power we achieved by continuously inventing, improving, discovering and creating tools, systems and machines, all the result of this assiduous work of neurons in our brains, the billion of electric connections all giving away thoughts, ideas, concepts?

And how to explain that despite all this great power of the human being, there is such a weakness in the human soul that we are just as frail as a grass bowing in the wind, persevering in standing back again just to break at one point, dry and shatter into small pieces of dust? How did the substances combined to make this great imbalance between unlimited strength and unstoppable weakness?

Who am I to answer these existential questions? Am I entitled to try to? Should I try just because I know that any human can both rise gracefully to the moon or fall humbly in the dirt, just within the same fragment of time?

Are we all looking for happiness, as the thing to pursue despite the challenges? What is happiness? Did anybody define it clearly? Do we all agree on the meaningness of that definition? As we reached it, or we think we did, why are we chasing just another form of happiness? Why are we chasing this unclearly defined happiness if we don’t know what it is?

At this point I ran out of quotation marks, and I need to switch my mind to affirmative enunciations, but this ain’t a simple job. All I know is that the present is only one ticking of the great watch, a sublime and quickly passing moment that flows in the past’s ocean. To chase happiness while overlooking this small grain of time is like running on the ground to catch a passing cloud. Between the nostalgia of the past, and the dreams of the future, stands only this little second passing away with a loud ticking of the great watch.

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